Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 5, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Sentences comparing and contrasting
1.
The Sun Conure lives in the Brazil, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too.
2.
The red-lored
Amazon Lifespan lives up to 80 years, but
the Sun Conure’s
lifespan is only about 25 – 30 years.
3.
Bothe Both the Red-lored
Amazon and the Sun Conure eat oranges.
4.
Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure they are very active in the morning and evening.
5.
The Red-lored Amazon in is endangered
and the Sun Conure does is, too.
6.
Neither the Sun Conure nor the Red-lored
Amazon lives in Saudi Arabia.
Nice work, David! Some rules to help you:
·
When
making generalizations, use the +
singular (the Sun Conure) or plural
(Sun Conures)
·
Capitalize
the full common name of an animal, but not the shortened form (the Sun Conure vs the conure)
_________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 11, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
C&C Diet
The Sun Conure
eats pellet, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too. The red-lored Amazon eats mixed seed, but the
Sun Conure’s eats only fresh fruits. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure eat oranges. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun Conure eats carrot.
The Red-lored Amazon eats apple and the Sun Conure is, too. Neither the Sun
Conure nor the Red-lored Amazon eats meat. Also, The Sun Conure and The
red-lored Amazon eat green leaves.
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 11, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
C&C Behavior
The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and
some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds and quieter chuckling noises
while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too. The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice. The Sun Conure is usually very quiet
while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is not. The Sun Conures can only be
heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop the loud, but the Red-lored
Amazon dose not. The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun
Conure dose not. The Red Lored Amazons
are talented talkers and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not. The Red-lored
Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but the Sun Conure do not.
________________________________________________________________________________
UMEI
003 RWG: Peer Feedback on C&C Draft 1
Writer:___David______ Peer
evaluator: _Yen________________
1. Diet
Is
there a topic sentence expressing the main idea? yes no not sure
How
many supporting sentences are there? _____7_
Is
there enough information to support the main idea? yes no not
sure
Are
any of the supporting sentences off topic? yes no not sure
Is
the information in a logical order? yes no not sure
2. Behavior
Is
there a topic sentence expressing the main idea? yes no not sure
How
many supporting sentences are there? __8____
Is
there enough information to support the main idea? yes no not
sure
Are
any of the supporting sentences off topic? yes no not sure
Is
the information in a logical order? yes no not sure
What to do next:
1.
Fix
any problems pointed out by your classmate (add a topic sentence, add more
supporting sentences, delete off-topic supporting sentences, and/or reorganize
the supporting sentences).
2.
Combine
your two paragraphs into one document.
3.
Cite
your sources (Place your cursor immediately after the sentence; REFERENCES,
Insert Footnote, paste source URL).
4.
Start
planning your introduction.
a. Begin with general
information about your animals (what they are, where they live, how many
different species there are).
b. Narrow your focus to
the two animals you are comparing (what they are—including their scientific
names--, where they live)
c. Finish with a thesis
statement (Like a topic sentence for the essay, a thesis statement names the
topic and expresses the main idea). For example:
i. While the X and the Y
are similar in many ways, they exhibit many differences in diet and behavior.[1] OR
ii. While the X and the Y
are different in many ways, they exhibit many similarities in behavior and
diet.
iii. Although the X and
the Y eat a similar diet, their behavior is very different.
iv. Whereas the X and the
Y behave in similar ways, they eat a very different diet.
Draft 2 is due on
Wednesday, Oct. 16 (upload to Engrade). Turn in this peer evaluation sheet on
Thursday in class.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 16, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
C&C Diet 1
Animal
effects on our daily lives and paint their frequencies very fast today, it has
too much close to us, or to more express accurately, we are become very stuck
on it. There are two animal cares have changed the way we can communicate with
animal such as diet, and behavior. Also, these basic social influences feeding
necessary to excellence of both our professional and personal live. Also, it is
important for people have animals know about it. Since I was child I love to carry
animals like birds, wolf, scorpion, and horse. I’m going to give you some
information about two kinds of birds The
Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon.
The
first thing is diet. The diets of The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon are
similar. The red-lored Amazon eats mixed
seed, but the Sun Conure’s eats only fresh fruits. Neither the Sun Conure nor
the Red-lored Amazon eats meat. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun Conure
eat oranges. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun Conure eats carrot. The
Red-lored Amazon eats apple and the Sun Conure is, too. Also, The Sun Conure
and The red-lored Amazon eat green leaves. The Sun Conure eats pellet, and the
Red-lored Amazon does, too
The
second animal care is behavior. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a
lot of behavior and there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds
and quieter chuckling noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does,
too. The Red-lored Amazon has a
beautiful voice, but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice. The Sun Conure is usually
very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is not. The Sun Conures can
only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop the loud, but the Red-lored
Amazon dose not. The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun
Conure dose not. The Red Lored Amazons
are talented talkers and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not. The Red-lored
Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but the Sun Conure do not.
In
conclusion, in my opinion, animal cares are the best things happened in our
live in easy ways to communicate with people. Also, for these two animal cares
by diet, and behavior, I hope you can see the differences and the similarity
between the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 16, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
C&C Diet 2
When
it comes to animal, it is agreed that animals affect our daily life. We deal
with them every day. They are too close to us. On other words, we are becoming
very attach to them. We can take care of animals in two aspect diet and
behavior. Moreover, these basic social behaviors influence feeding necessary to
enhance both our professional and personal live. Also, it is important for the
people who have animal to know about them. Since I was a child, I loved to take
care of animals like bird, wolf, scorpion, and horse. I am going to give you
some information about two kinds of birds the
Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon how they are difference and similarity, starring
in diet and behavior.
The
first thing that I want to talk about is diet. The diet of The Sun Conure and
the Red-lored Amazon are similar. The
red-lored Amazon eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure’s eats only fresh fruits.
Neither the Sun Conure nor the Red-lored Amazon eats meat. Both of them eat
oranges, watermelons, and carrot. In addition to that they also eat apples and green
leaves. Also, both of them eat pellet. They eat flowers, berries and nuts. These
birds spend most of the time looking for foods.
http://www.parrots.org/index.php/encyclopedia/captivestatus/sun_conure/
Click on Care for diet in capitivity; click on Wild Status
for diet in the wild. You can find a similar page in this parrot encyclopedia
for the Red-lored Amazon.
Another
thing is the animal’s behavior. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a
lot of behavior and there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds
and quiet chuckling noise while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does,
too. The Red-lored Amazon has a
beautiful voice, but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice. The Sun Conure is usually
very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is not. The Sun Conures can
only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they are quickly develop the loud, but the Red-lored
Amazon dose not. The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun
Conure dose not[NL1] . The Red Lored Amazons are
talented talkers and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not. The Red-lored
Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but the Sun Conure do not.
This looks like a good
source of more behavioral information on the Sun Conure: http://www.birdsnways.com/wisdom/ww25eiv.htm
For the Red-lored Parrot try http://rosamondgiffordzoo.org/assets/uploads/animals/pdf/Red-loredAmazonParrot.pdf
it has much less than the previous one.
In
conclusion, in my opinion, animals affect our daily life in easy ways to
communicate with them. Also, for this information about two kinds of birds the
Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon through examples of diet and behavior, I
hope you can see the differences and the similarity between them.
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 20, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
C&C Diet Essay Draft 3
Animals effect
on our daily lives and
paint their frequencies very fast today[NL3] ; they are very
helpful for us like doges, or to entertainment like monkey and dolphin. We are
become very interested on it these days.
[NL4] There are two animals have changed the way we can communicate with
animals such as diet and behavior. The behavior of communicating is an important
basis of the foundations of adaptation and social organization in animals[NL5] . Since
I was child I love to carry animals like birds, wolf, scorpion, and horse. [NL6] Here are some information about two kinds of birds The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon. Although they are have a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
Template for a good
introduction:
Parrots are colorful birds
that live ….. They are characterized
by their ___, ____, and ____.[NL7] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are
two species of parrot that live _____. The Sun Conure is (size + appearance),
and the Red-lored Amazon is (size and appearance). Both birds are popular as
pets. [NL8] The Sun
Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a similar diet, but their behavior is very
different[NL9] .
Simplify with a list:
Both the Red-lored Amazon
and the Sun Conure eat fresh fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples,
carrots, and green leaves. Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat.
However, the Red-lored Amazon eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.
The
second animal care is behavior. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a
lot of behavior and there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds
and quieter chuckling noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does,
too. The Red-lored Amazon has a
beautiful voice, but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice. The Sun Conure is usually
very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is not. The Sun Conures can
only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop the loud, but the Red-lored
Amazon dose not. The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun
Conure dose not. The Red Lored Amazons
are talented talkers and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not. The Red-lored
Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but the Sun Conure do not.
In conclusion, in
my opinion, animals are the best things happened in our live in easy ways
to communicate with people. [NL10] Also, for these
two animal cares[NL11] by diet, and behavior,
I hope [NL12] you can see the
differences and the similarity between the
Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon in diet and behavior.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 21, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Essay Draft 3
Parrots are
colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world and mostly in the
southern hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright plumage, compact body
and some species have the ability to mimic speech when in captivity. The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and
the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of parrot that live
in South America. The Sun Conure sizes are 12 inches from beak to
tail, and the appearance golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed underparts
and face. And the Red-lored Amazon size averages 13 inches from beak to tail,
and the appearance are mostly green with a large patch of red on their for head.
[NL13] Both birds are
popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the
Red-lored Amazon eat a similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of The Sun Conure and the Red-lored
Amazon in captivity are similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure eat fresh fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and
green leaves. Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the
Red-lored Amazon eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.
In
addition, The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and
there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds and quieter chuckling
noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too. The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice. The Sun Conure is usually very quiet
while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is not. The Sun Conures can only be
heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop the loud, but the Red-lored
Amazon dose not. The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun
Conure dose not. The Red Lored Amazons
are talented talkers and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not. The Red-lored
Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but the Sun Conure do not.
In
conclusion, know you can see the differences and the similarity between the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon in diet and behavior.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 21, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Essay Draft 3
Parrots
are colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world and mostly in the
southern hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright plumage, compact body and some species have the ability to mimic speech when
in captivity.[2] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and
the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of parrot that live
in South America.[3]
The Sun Conure sizes are 12 inches from
beak to tail, and the appearance golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed
underparts and face.[4] And
the Red-lored Amazon size averages 13 inches from beak to tail, and the appearance
are mostly green with a large patch of red on their for head.[5] Both birds are popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of The Sun Conure and the Red-lored
Amazon in captivity are similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure eat fresh fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and
green leaves.[6]
Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.[7]
In
addition, The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and
there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds and quieter chuckling
noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too.[8] The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice.[9]
The Sun Conure is usually very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is
not.[10] The
Sun Conures can only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon
dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop
the loud, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not.[11] The
Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun Conure dose not.[12] The Red Lored Amazons are talented talkers
and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not.[13] The
Red-lored Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but
the Sun Conure do not.[14]
In
conclusion, know you can see the differences and the similarity between the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon in diet and behavior.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 23, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Essay Draft 4
Parrots
are colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world and mostly in the Southern
Hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright plumage, compact body and some species have the ability to mimic speech when
in captivity.[15] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis)[NL14] and the
Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of parrot that live in
South America.[16]
The Sun Conure sizes
are 12 inches from beak to
tail, and the appearance golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed underparts
and face.[17]
And the Red-lored Amazon size
averages 13 inches from beak to tail, and the appearance are mostly green with
a large patch of red on their for head.[18] Both birds are popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of The Sun Conure and the Red-lored
Amazon in captivity are similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure eat fresh fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and
green leaves.[19]
Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.[20]
In
addition, The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and there are some
differences. The Sun
Conure wheezy sounds and quieter chuckling noises while perched, and the
Red-lored Amazon does, too.[21] The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s
have a harsh voice.[22]
The Sun Conure is usually very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is
not.[23] The Sun Conures can
only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop the loud[NL15] , but the Red-lored
Amazon dose
not.[24] The
Red-lored Amazon is
bond quickly to human,
but the Sun Conure dose
not.[25] The Red Lored Amazons are talented talkers
and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not.[26] The Red-lored Amazon
charismatic birds who like to be with their owners[NL16] , but the Sun Conure do not.[27][NL17]
In
conclusion, know
you can see the differences and the similarity between the
Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon in diet and behavior.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 23, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Essay Draft 4
Parrots are colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world
and mostly in the Southern Hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright
plumage, compact body and some species have
the ability to mimic speech when in captivity.[28] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and
the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of parrot that live
in South America.[29]
The Sun Conure sizes are 12 inches from
beak to tail, and the appearance golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed
underparts and face.[30] And
the Red-lored Amazon size averages 13 inches from beak to tail, and the appearance
are mostly green with a large patch of red on their for head.[31] Both birds are popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of The Sun Conure
and the Red-lored Amazon in captivity are
similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun Conure eat fresh fruit and
vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and green leaves.[32]
Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.[33]
In addition, The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of
behavior and there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds and
quieter chuckling noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too.[34] The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice.[35]
The Sun Conure is usually very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is
not.[36] The
Sun Conures can only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon
dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop
the loud, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not.[37] The
Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun Conure dose not.[38] The Red Lored Amazons are talented talkers
and singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not.[39] The
Red-lored Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but
the Sun Conure do not.[40]
In conclusion, know you can see the differences and the similarity
between the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon in diet and behavior.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
October 27, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Essay Draft 5
Parrots
are colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world and mostly in the Southern
Hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright plumage and by thire compact body and some species have the ability to speech after
training.[41] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and
the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of parrot that live
in South America.[42]
The Sun Conure sizes are 12 inches from
the end of the beak to ___ end of the tail,”[NL18] and the appearance
golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed face”.[43] And
the Red-lored Amazon size averages 13 inches from the end of the beak to ___
end of the tail, and their appearance is mostly green with a large patch of red
on their forehead.[44] Both birds are popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of the Sun Conure and the Red-lored
Amazon [in captivity] are similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun Conure eat fresh
fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and green leaves.[45]
Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seeds, but the Sun Conure does not.[46]
In
addition, the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and
there [NL19] are some
differences. The Sun Conure make wheezy sound_ and quieter chuckling noises
while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too.[47] The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure has a harsh voice.[48]
The Sun Conure is usually very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is
not.[49] The
Sun Conures can only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon can’t[NL20] . The Sun Conure quickly develops the loud[NL21] , but the Red-lored
Amazon does not.[50]
The Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun Conure does not.[51] The Red Lored Amazons are talented talkers and singers, but the
Sun Conure does
not.[52] The
Red-lored Amazon is charismatic birds [NL22] who like to be
with their owners, but the Sun Conure
is not.[53]
In
conclusion, there is
a lot of different [NL23] between the Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon includes[NL24] diet and
behavior. For diet, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seeds, but the Sun Conure does not. For behavior, the Sun Conure has
__ terrible voice. In contrast, the Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice.
__ = missing word (usually a or the)
or letter(s)
__________________________________________________________________________________
Mohammed AL-Dawoud
November 4, 2013
UMEI 003 RWG
Final Essay
Parrots
are colorful birds that live in tropical parts of the world and mostly in the
southern hemisphere. They are characterized by their bright plumage, compact body and some species have the ability to mimic speech when
in captivity.[54] The Sun Conure (Aratinga solstitialis) and the Red-lored Amazon (Amazona autumnalis) are two species of
parrot that live in South America.[55]
The Sun Conure sizes are 12 inches from
beak to the tail, and the appearance golden-yellow plumage and orange-flushed
underparts and face.[56] And
the Red-lored Amazon size averages 13 inches from beak to the tail, and the appearance are mostly green with a large patch of
red on their for head.[57] Both birds are popular as pets. The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon eat a
similar diet, but their behavior is very different.
The diets of The Sun Conure and the Red-lored
Amazon in captivity are similar. Both the Red-lored Amazon and the Sun
Conure eat fresh fruit and vegetables such as oranges, apples, carrots, and
green leaves.[58]
Both of them eat pellets. Neither bird eats meat. However, the Red-lored Amazon
eats mixed seed, but the Sun Conure does not.[59]
In
addition, The Sun Conure and the Red-lored Amazon share a lot of behavior and
there are some differences. The Sun Conure wheezy sounds and quieter chuckling
noises while perched, and the Red-lored Amazon does, too.[60] The Red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice,
but the Sun Conure’s have a harsh voice.[61]
The Sun Conure is usually very quiet while feeding, but the Red-lored Amazon is
not.[62] The
Sun Conures can only be heard when they are hungry, but the Red-lored Amazon
dose not. The Sun Conures they quickly develop
the loud, but the Red-lored Amazon dose not.[63] The
Red-lored Amazon is bond quickly to human, but the Sun Conure dose not.[64] The Red Lored Amazons are talented talkers and
singers, but the Sun Conure’s are not.[65] The
Red-lored Amazon charismatic birds who like to be with their owners, but
the Sun Conure do not.[66]
In
conclusion, there are a lot of different between the sun conure and the
red-lored Amazon in terms of diet and behavior.
For diet, the red-lored Amazon eats mixed seeds, but the sun conure does
not. For behavior, the sun conure has a terrible voice. In contrast, the
red-lored Amazon has a beautiful voice.
[1]
The underlined clause is the main idea. (Do not underline your main idea when
you write your essay.)
[NL1]The
website I visited (the Parrot Encyclopedia) calls them “affectionate”—where did
you find this information?
[NL5]???
Unclear, but apparently off-topic (delete). You are trying to write in a
complicated way. Please try to write in a simple and clear way.
[NL9](3)
thesis statement: announces the topic (diet and behavior) and the controlling
idea (similar/different)
[NL14]Consult
the C&C draft 4 Editing handout for rules on capitalizing and italicizing
common names and scientific names of animals.
[NL17]According
to what I read, sun conures are very affectionate with their owners. Where did
you find this information? It’s certainly not on the website you indicate here,
which does not mention the sun conure at all. L
[NL18]Quotation
marks come in pairs—at the beginning and end of the quoted material. It is not
clear what is quoted here and in the following sentence.
[NL20]In
this and the next sentence, I don’t think you can say that red-lored Amazons
differ in these respects simply because they were not mentioned. You would need
to provide a citation for that information as well. Can you provide it?
[NL21]This
is a part of a sentence taken out of context so that it no longer makes sense.
I checked the source. You should say Baby
sun conures demand that their parents feed them by making a loud, repetitive
call.
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